Beyond Borders

Intro.......

For those of you who remember that cricket match with mess-worker after JLT night would enjoy ...

Most of our great players had hang-overs but decided to play match with best team? ...... guessable ... with mess players and this had a great cause for poors " dont confuse , all of us were poor as most of us especially those who played, didnt have a steady gf but they tried hard to Patayo one of the funky Girl from RMH "

Match Starts:

The RM Team:- Himansu DYNA Panda Captain!, Ritesh Dudhaaroo Sharan world's widest NO bowler, Swarup Bhiana GIRI The Wicket keeper who can BALL with two balls for a change! Vivek pa ji sharma a dkhan opener

Pa Ji starts opening: Looking at the ball intendly , not missing the movement of the ball..... here it goes .. pa ji swings his bat... audience holding their breath worring about the fate of the ball but... wait the Bat is at mid-on and ball smiling in keeper's glovfes..... and where is Our Paa G, sleeping in the mid of the pitch!

We all ran to pick him up Pun - " Oye mere ser uth ja" some one collects his bat from Mid on and paases it on .. but Paa G this time in Pun Style much intoxicated " sone de mere baap maan nahi uthane kaa bagal bale pitch me match khel , main nahin uth sakata... agar utha tho uth jaunga"

Swrup: wicket-keeping ' ball was coming and suddenly we saw swrup posing titanic style, hands wide open......

Panda Comes shouting, spiting his SAFAL "abe tu wicket keeping kar raha hai kya kar raha haii"

Bhaina - Confused as ever " Kya karoon yaar do do balls deekh rahe hain, kaun si pakadu, confuse ho gaya hu "

Panda - " RMH ki taraf dekhega to do balls hi deekhenge, saamane dekh aur ball pakad agar do deekh rahe hain to dono pakad, abaki chhora to Interest rate batana padega.... Samajha" spits his Gutkha and walks away in despair.

" sala baimani kar raha hai do do (two) ball phekh raha hai

Bhaiya ya kishan kanhiya: no matter what batch it had been bhaiya was bhaiya

Bhaiya: One of the most praised ( dudharu) bowler in XIMB, always struggling hard to give worst possible ball especially to mess workers . Two wide, three no ball in a baby over was bhaiya's best.... any guess how many runs were scored once; you are right 36 that was bhaiya's best.....

To kill a Mocking Bird

Always hovering over my head:

A mocking bird " What you want to do; what r u doin; what will you do?"

Me: " Dont know, dont know, Dont know, dont know; how many time I have to tell you"

A mocking bird: " Okkkk then, I will ask again " smiles and goes away

Sitting alone I think: " Is my life span worth enough for this work "

A mocking bird: Smiling at me.

A mob running with arms; waiting for every opporunity to kill each other

A mocking bird: " Run.. Run you fool or stand and fight "

Me: Shouting and screaming " You are a fool not me; running or fighting r not different things, both are same, I will die either way"

A mocking bird: "Not my problem"

Me: " I know tat, just dont keep pestering me or I will kill you"

A mocking bird: " No you can't bc you have to kill yourself first "

Me: Now smiling " I know but killing you will close my senses or desire of living and tat is the solution of every problem "

A request to reader: Just kill your mocking bird

Marriage at Mid-Night:

Though heavily discounted at home, thought of a bit elevated position, since I was contributing a bit but..... Even loaded suitcase and back-pack had done little,have had quite an opposite effect.

Entry to home:

Few children started shouting "Bhaiya aa gaya Bhaiya aa gaya", my luggage was picked up and thrown in, somewhere down the labyrinth. I see all elderly people standing almost in a Q , gasped in terror ; I have to greet ( Indian style where you bend and touch the feet) all of them, have had to, this gigantic task was an endless affair. When all of this was over; I thought of eating smthin but all were busied themselves in soul-searchin ( suitcase-searchin).

My brother comes and gives me a contemptuous look, as if I am claiming his territory. Me coming home had definitely annoyed him bc he now has to take orders from me, which he never wanted.

Tusu: " aa gaya aur sab tikh hai na?" a formality; words are coming like a lion in mortal agony.

He has gone through quite a metamorphosis; tight jeans/T-shirt, curly hair nice shoes etc. I was just startled and dumb-founded.

Bum: " haan ji aa gaye, kaya haal hai"; always puts on latest attire; I am ashamed , why can't color-combination of my clothes be right and even close to ok .( Must have taken this trait from Ravi Bhaiya, looking at him reminds me how rural I am; always perfectly dressed, stylish talk and a lot of gf " God give me these attributes" but god won't listen to me).

When me a Bum were alone:

Bum;" Haan ji aaj intezaam hai raat ka, mila hai ek khamba", I was speech- less, god what wld happen to this generation; but finally I became greedy.

Story of this Khamba goes like this:

Chotu comes to home and ...

Tusu: " Haan ji paani wani pijiyega"

Chotu: " Hum ee sab na piye hi"

Bum: " Tab ka piya ha"

Chotu: gives a smug look and secretly pulls out a khamba

Bum instantly attacks at it like a hawk looking for meat. Seeing this must have inflated chotu's ego; and in tilak started asking everybody with a khamba gesture " tu le la, laeliyo ho ek khamba" . But finally settles down with when my father heard and scolded him.

In this marriage I was sacrificed and butchered like a goat; Fasting and cold bath added to my bitterness; I was purified by Thread Ceremony ( Janou). the dark side of it I came to know later, terrified , fearful, frustrated , angry, hungry; I wanted to shout but none came to help; with this I came face to face with a giant dragon Bum's dad.

He wanted a one to one to talk with me and i was like " Hey bhagwan bacha le"

This kind of Dramas happened a lot:

All gothias ( relatives) were very busy.. but in planning; they are not made by god to do manual work. " jo char (4) goe chai lao tho mehman lagi" only one guest was there rest was for themselves.

Marriage Day:

Chacha1: " Baratiyan abhi tak na althi ho, chal gadiya nikal dekhe chal".. wait.. dont confuse, he is not concerned , wanted sm paan-bidi in Bazaar.

Chacha2: Giving some valuable gyaan " Khanwa je hai na, tanhi tanhi chalhaiyan kahatm na hobe ke chaie", You should know this was outsourced.. but .. alas..

Chacha3: With a menacing look" are chunchunwa sun choe (6) goe baans le ke aayo tho" I was terrified.. god wat he is going to do with it.. but Iwas saved , it was for marwa.

Mamu: Although he was busy but looked more than he was " chal chal jaldi chal aue baratiyan ke intezaam kar"

Phua1/2: Busy with mom; some mysterious talk

Finally Barat came though late, even then dulhe raja went to visit his frnds. Subh Lagna was fleeting; smhw Daur Pooja happened but all the Saratis were dining, only family members came to greet them.

Had a small brawl with Tusu bc famous fours had gone to " mood banane" with sm1 I didnt approve.After making sure tat all visitors have taken their dinner, I was free to roam but realized ciggrettes are gone but Bum came for the support

Smhw this longest night in my life went satisfactory even though I had only few minutes of sleep in the car.

Pirates of Bon-mil

" I am not going to see them", he said it loudly and tried to convince himself, but counting and recounting his money made the scenario a bit difficult.
After marshaling last ounce of conviction he decided to leave this decision for tomorrow and goes to the nearest, cheap looking north Indian dhaba.

" My god this is quite a loot, where does a chapati costs Rs. 5 and a plate of dal Rs. 45"
Going by this speed my money will last only 5 days.

Next Day:

" Hello uncle this is chunchun here, your wife and my father have same root (village)"

Uncle: " Hmmm so, what you want"

Wow a set-back but " Lahron se dar kar nauka par nahin hoti Himmat karne balon ki haar nahin hoti"

Chunchun: " Nothing I just wanted to see you all so I already came to yeshwantpur"

Good red trouser with white shirt, trying to make a good first impression but.....

Something to be felt... not to describe

Incident 1:

Ravi: " Let's go , will have dinner smwhere with my gf".
This would be first time, a dinner with a girl. He puts on the best cloths ( borrowed from a frnd) and perfume. Looking at her " Oh my God.... divinity on earth", absolutely gorgeous, tall , fair; tight blue jeans,red T-shirt, stunning......

When he sees her: jaws dropped , drooping and drooling god save me

C: " Tell me smthing abt urself?"

Chun: A lump in his throat , unable to utter a word " My name is ... ( as if he was not introduced)

He decide to have her ( as a gf) and thinks " I will study hard, will find a good job and then...Relishing his future, he did ; but of no avail....

Sitting beside her.... "god this is heaven"

His endless list of girl-friends maddened him like anything; tried to find one but .. fruitless.

Shashi was ok & easy-go person; gave a kind of mental support. He was like a perfect pal.. played together, laughed together..

One day In ISKON with Shashi:

Chun: " God this place of worship or a place to enjoy... where GFBF comes to ... not to..."
God is too rich...

He enjoys a lot...

In the morning .. In the morning:

6'o clock in the morning a ear-piercing loud shriek comes " kaya bekar ki aurat hai, akal nahi hai " and reply " haan ja kaam karaaa" ...

" chup raho ji".

fight continues... but he blvs it is out of love rather ..

He planned to sleep till 10'o clock but it became impossible ;waited endless long hours for the break-fast (till 11'o clock).

He thinks it may be metropolitan way of living

Cricket at mid-night:

Ravi: " Chalo cricket khelte hain"

Shashi: " hoon "

Chunchun: Started nodding; moving his head up-down like pendulum

Division of team was pretty obvious:
After two and three good shots, ravi swings his bat in Dhoni's style, ball goes flying past boundary... but wait why he is writhing in pain...

Uncle: " I wont take him to the doc. he is useless"
Aunty: On the verge of crying
Chunchun: Feeling guilty, should haven't initiated playing..

But finally like hindi movies everything was fine.

A Basic Question...

Sir.. Sir I want to ask a question and Proff. eyes were twinkling like diamonds bc sm1 was awake in his class but his hope dies soon.. bc

Baliye : " Sir when did corruption start", proff. must be wishing that " Hey bhagwan ye dharti phat jaye aur mein isme sama jaoon". Even God Brahama is still fidgeting with his pothis to find the answer,

Non-Jhabhirs plz wait, we had a plethora of such questions at least Pranav had always came up with one. No matter who is giving presentation

pravnav :" I .. I ... I have have a basic question (he seems to be pleading like a child)". His questions were similar to the following questions:

Pranav Q1: "What do I do in S.P. das's exam" ; you fool, write a story and manage to throw some words here and there like Pur,Sustainable,GDP,Development etc.

Pranav Q2:" What would I do , if I am alone in a Jungle and tiger comes" ; as if he has an option

Pranav Q3:" What do I do if dont have toilet paper and pressure is too much to stop" (Ans: quickly look for another trouser)

Pranav: An advice don't die with your secret ( your love in Ximb)

@Pranav: Don't mind if you ever read this ; just a joke.

Inir: Had solution of everything but wait finally got his competitor : S.P.Das.
How could I forget his bulging and huge belly (can compete with God ganesha);
When he laughs, his belly sends a dangerous vibration and all of us would be forced to laugh.

Inir: Plz dont sing Brown eyes brown eyes in front of your gf, somehow we held the ground but she will definitely not . And if I see those beautiful brown eyes, will blind her "na rahega ga bans na bajegi bansuri"

And here comes one and only one Samir Basistha: Dear Samir Mother Ship (Library) is still calling you, listen and go to your den and stop torturing yourself by your mysterious voyage .

Still remember the days when seniors used to torture us (ragging).

Seniors: We are doing this bc we want to prepare for the worst, whole night study.

They would have killed themselves after seeing us playing and boozing all night.

Shame on you seniors: you shld have prepared us for aoe and long/useless fight during meetings

Last But not the Least: Can't stop remembering Pal Height; after having two or three peg,bragging,dancing,fighting and what not. One of the famous one ;when pun picks up the fight ( He went to put a compromise without invitation) and at the end blaming everybody...

Himmat: Jo hua so hua bhul ja

Pun: Saale woh sab tho tikh hai par fight aise nahin kiya jata

Raka: So ja pun

Pun: Aree abhi nahin pahle sun how to fight " first give a smile and keep smiling in front of opponent, then fight" ; as if he has learnt marcel art, forget it pun " agar pa ji agar phunk de tho tu uar(fly) jayega"

One day pun was too intoxicated and swaying too and fro at the play ground. People thought he is too drunk but wait its not true, WIND WAS BLOWING TOO HARD.
it was really courageous to held the ground.

A Request: Everyone plz don't take it personally and wld like to say you can count many many such funny incidents which involves me and laugh

Jhabhir Institute of management

Still remember the sweet & old days in Jhabhir, It seems my short stint in this org. has brought me too far from the carefree Jhabhir days. If I can go back in time, would enjoy those times more than I had without cursing its back-breaking (?) class- schedules and pompous professors.

I am writing down all the incidents/persons I can remember without having any kind of grudge towards them. It just for fun..

Panda the person who gets claps and standing ovation every time before and during presentation. Dare not to talk to him when he was having Guthka: oonh oonh, wait for a minute, aathu aathu, sala hum captain hai cricket team ka ab team mein kaun kaun rahega tum log decide karo.
I still remember the day though I was not watchin; he comes to bat with all accessories, spits mouthful of guthka, gives a dangerous look to the bowler and bang he is clean bold!! But again standing ovation.

Swrup and his famous four (group for presentation) comes with a fantastic presentation, a lot of fu-fa, at the end a simple question was asked; what is the interest rate? and answers goes like this:
Swrup: ooh, aah,hmm it should be + or - 2% of PLR and a lot of banks are following it and gestures towards Pa Ji..

Pa Ji , having a awakward look on his face, unable to say anything, gritting his teeth, gives threatening look to all...

Professor takes the cue and ends the presentation..

This group doesn't stop here: Pankaj is the victim, team building exercise:
(For those who don't remember: Pepp.. takes us out, different groups were formed and tried to teach us (unsuccessfully) trusting our team members. One member had to jump from the top with trust on his team, team had to catch him)

Pankaj goes at the top of scaffolding and in Biru style ( Sholay): Dear frnd I trust you all, I am coming... and.... boom he goes directly to the ground. He says sala yahi trust hota hai ..
And these famous four had their hands on the hips, they look up when pankaj was jumping and looked down when he was flat on the ground, without having a slightest effort helping him.
Well jumping once was a trial but jumping twice .. god it was foolishness, but wait he did it. Even outsiders might visualize the result..... he was once again landed right to the land.

And here comes tension chacha, always taking tension without any reason, asking everybody what he/she read for the exam, tough and tongue twisting English words comes flying out of his mouth. But he contributed a lot to our Jhabhir Jargons: Ladka hai hira hai hira, kaya dedication aur motivation hai ladke mein. Lage raho chacha wish you all the best.

Jeffin John and Arun: Guesssss what!! Even after joining placement committee 80% of their time goes to tying and untying their lungis, 10% goes towards boozing and with rest of 10% they manage to involve in other activities including placement. But i must congratulate them for our placement. Tried their best, all the best Yaar.

Biru: This is the mystery which only I can solve (blv me biru I didnt do it), Incident goes like this: While sleeping with his famous posture ( God knows how he managed to sleep in 99.99% of class time, 0.01% includes coming late in class and for attendance), he falls down straight down to the ground. Savi.. mam comes running, what hpnd pun , r u alright, wants to go home and offers a lot of sympathy.
what would happen to her when she knows the truth
Something about Biru: He wakes up when he is tired of sleeping, we (human) sleeps when we are tired of working

Himmat : Should have born before independence, always ready to fight on development issues.
He is like fighters in aoe. I don't remember any specific funny incident because every time I met him, forced to laugh.

I want to write many incidents but you will get bored, Bala, Mayuk,Kosha and lot others are in my mind . may be for next blog